He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
