Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
