Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
