My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
