I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
