if you like me you must not know who I am
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
