it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
