It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
