I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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