Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
