The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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