i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
