Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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