my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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