I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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