You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just had sex on a roof
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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