If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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