Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
