brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
