I accidentally had phone sex last night
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
