You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Also, beer. Big fan.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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