I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
