i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
