She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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