There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
