i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
