She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We left the knife in your bed.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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