I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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