is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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