I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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