her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
