Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
