Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
so much tequila, so little girl.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
