He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
