the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
