so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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