I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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