So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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