I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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