I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I need water and some morals
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