Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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