:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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