A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
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