She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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