Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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