Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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