Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
The power of my boobs compel you
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
