but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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