bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
