my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
