Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
